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25 Facts You Don't Know About Dating Over 40...

But You Should!

dating over 40

Dating over 40 can be very fun. Not only have you had the chance to discover yourself and your likes and dislikes, but you are wise and experienced and you bring this to the dating table.   However, it can also be quite difficult to date at this age as well. Being rusty when it comes to dating can leave room for doubt. Here are 25 facts you must know about dating over 40 and some suggestions that will help make dating easier and fun for you!   

1. Leave your ex in the past - If you've had a divorce or separated from a long relationship, it can be very difficult not to refer to your ex. It's perfectly natural, especially if you were with the person for a long time. However, the person you're dating can feel as if they can never compete with the memory of your ex if you bring him or her up at every occasion. They do not want to be compared with your ex.  

Give them a fresh start with you by leaving your ex where he or she belongs - in the past. Think about how you would feel if your date discussed their ex at every available opportunity. To keep from making a slip, really consider what you say before you say it!  

2. Find someone to date -  If you're past the desire to hang out in a bar or nightclub full of 20 year olds, never fear! There are a lot of great places to meet people your age. Think of your favorite café or diner, the gym, the place you work or even an online dating service (see below).

3. Start a conversation - One of the most important things you can do is talk! Don't be afraid to approach someone and start a conversation - after all, you're not a shy young kid anymore.  

4. Go Online  Online dating services can be very fun and allow you the chance to screen people before ever communicating with them.  Try chat rooms; they are a good introduction to over 40 relationships before dating ever occurs. You can often get a good sense of someone from chats or instant messages one to one. Of course, there is always the potential for deception and you should be very cautious in giving out personal or identifiable information to strangers. This is why using a membership site may be preferable.

In a membership site , a fee is charged to join and this helps to weed out some of the less than serious pranksters. There are also requirements such as screening questionnaires and the requirement of a credit card. While this gives a bit more confidence, caution is always best. Women should pick a public place and bring a friend when possible during the first meeting. 

5. Be yourself   - The more honest you are, the better you will be when you're dating. You want someone to really begin to like you for who you are. For this reason, it's important to be yourself and be happy with who you are as you begin dating. It can be difficult to remember this because dating over 40 proves to be a frustration sometimes. Being lonely can easily make you want to be the 'perfect person' for someone else. However, if you continue being yourself you can be assured that when someone falls for you, they fall for the real you - not the 'perfect person.'    

6. Invite new people to your party - How can you expect to meet and date singles over 40 when you always invite the same people to all of your parties? Bring some new blood to the old gang. With Parties Once-Removed, everybody you invite brings someone that nobody else in the group knows. Think of it as six degrees of separation, only backwards. Voila! You'll have a party full of brand-new people who already get along great with your closest friends. 

7. Try a sport, like golf or tennis - Want to meet an endless supply of fit singles over 40? Take up a social game like golf or tennis.

8. Go to somebody else's company picnic - Pair up with another single pal and survey his or her company's assets. These events are social, and as an added bonus, you know everybody there is employed. Your insider buddy can act as your tour guide. 

9. Try self-improvement seminars - If you're looking to meet singles over 40 who are as interested in self-growth as you are then attend lectures, conferences, and seminars by spiritual and self-development leaders. This can be a great place to meet someone and hang out with singles who're actively seeking to live a more positive, meaningful, inspired life. Weekend conferences are best if you're hoping to meet other people, because they offer more chances to socialize than daylong seminars provide. If the conference feels too pricey, contact the organization to and see if there's a way you can work at the event in exchange for free admission. 

10. Don't overlook volunteering - Most cities have philanthropic singles organizations, and whether a group attracts young singles or mature singles depends on the city and the group. The best part of meeting people through volunteer work is that you help make the world a better place and meet a lot of like-minded eligible singles at the same time. (besides, helping others gives you good dating karma.) If there are no volunteer groups in your area catering specifically to singles, check out Habitat for Humanity, habitat.org. It's a great way to meet people of all ages, and you get to spend the day in the sunshine using power tools. What could be better? 

11. Network - Try networking with friends and family to meet other eligible singles. Most people know someone who loves matchmaking and many people are good at it. Such dates are also a bit safer since the matchmaker actually knows the person and something of their character. 

12. Speed date - There are speed dating parties just for over 40 singles so the playing field is more level than in general audience speed dating. You meet a lot of people in a short time and can indicate who you would like to date. 

13. Look for meetings of interest - Traditional ways of meeting people such as religious gatherings and clubs are also among the ways over 40 singles can meet people. These tend to be people with similar lifestyles and interests who are likely to get along and have common goals.  

14. Go on vacation - Singles vacations and cruises are another possibility. Contact your local travel agency. 

15. Be careful about kids - Kids are definitely an issue for many over 40 singles and they complicate dating. It is usually best not to combine the dating and the kids together until you have gotten to know each other as people, not parents. Kids can become attached and if you introduce them too early in a relationship, a break up may be traumatic for the kids. (Consider the group Parents without Partners) 

16. Reconnect -   One of the greatest ways to meet new people when you find yourself single over 40 is to get back together with some of your old friends. Often times during a marriage or long relationship, especially one that is failing, we neglect our old friends and lose touch with our social lives. Connect with them again. Not only will they be an amazing source of support, but going out with them is a great way to meet new people. You will have the opportunity to meet some great singles and you will be having fun the whole time. In this way, you don't have to worry about seeming desperate or going out alone to meet new people!  

17. Don't be afraid of a 'type' of person - One thing that many singles over 40 do is avoid a certain type of person because their ex seemed to fall into that type. This could be a big mistake. Just because your ex was this 'type' of person doesn't mean all of these people are like your ex.  Don't limit yourself by thinking that these types of people are all equal to your ex simply because he or she had the same interests, job, etc. You could meet someone who is absolutely the person you want to stay with for the rest of your life!   Remember not to limit yourself and to make the best of your new found freedom!  

18. Take care of your health - a healthy and active person exudes charm. Start on a regular exercise routine like jogging, walking, swimming or going to the gym.  Exercise wards off high blood pressure, diabetes and other illnesses.  It makes the bones strong, the muscles firm and the skin healthy.   Take nutritious vitamins to give you the extra boost.   A healthy person is capable of great sex and that is key!

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19. Repackage yourself -  Try new trends in the way you clothe yourself.  Go to a hairdresser to get the right color and cut for your hair.  A new way of dressing and haircut can take years off.   

20. Develop your potential - Although over 40, a person can live their life again by improving their knowledge and developing their potential. Cultivate your mind, body and spirit. If before you were restricted to some activities to finance the education of the children and the home mortgage, now that you are free, indulge in pursuits that you truly love.  Happiness is when you are free and enjoy what you do.  

21. Plan out your search - You should have an agenda and a time-table.  See to it that your activities line up with your objective.  Schedule your meetings, your trips, your on-line chats so that you can have a pool of choices for your dates.  

22. Tell others about your need -   Don't be ashamed to tell people that you are seeking a relationship.  Your friends and their connections help you to advertise your needs.   

23. Be confident - Confidence is very important in everything especially in dating. It is very easy for a person to spot if you're confident or not so if you want to make a good impression, do not show your nervousness at all and try to pull off everything without sweating. 

24. Start reading! Ever wondered how some nerds in high school get the prettiest girls? Well, they know how to pick the right words. Other than which, they know what to talk about other than the same old boring topic. Reading even the latest news and being in the know with the current news and affairs will give the other person the impression that you're not someone... well, stupid. Just stay up to date and in case he or she asks you things about the hottest topic, at least you'll know what to say. 

25. Dance - Learn old fashioned tricks. Probably the most romantic old fashioned trick you could ever learn would be knowing how to dance. Dancing is considered to be one of the sweetest things a guy could ever do with a woman, as well as being the easiest and fastest way to hold a woman close. The good old tricks never fail so learn to dance even if it's just swinging your body from side to side. Try to conquer your two left feet and use them for some romantic dancing. 

 

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